Sorry Ms. Couric!!

This morning I wrote a strong post about Ms. Couric's interview of Gabby Reece.

Around 30 minutes later, my cell phone rang. It was Swami.

The conversation went something like this

"I read your blog post about Katie Couric"

He never calls about my blog posts. I instantly knew something was wrong.

"Yes Swami"
"What were you trying to say in the blog post?"
Uh Oh! He is trying to understand my rationale for writing the post. This is always step 1.
"I was angry Swami"
"It's ok Daasi. Let's step back and just talk about what you were trying to convey in your post"
Don't jump ahead. Just answer his questions!!
"I was trying to point out that Ms. Couric was being unfair in her interview and was using innuendo from another source to attack the views of the guest"
"Fair enough. Did you do that?"
Me relaxing. "Yes, Swami, I think I did"
"What else did you do?"
I have the post pulled up as I am talking. My hands are shivering now.
"I... I...I called Ms. Couric a female dog." I am feeling ashamed now.
"What else?"
"I'm sorry, Swami"
He ignores my apology
"What else?"
"I suggested that she must perform certain sexual acts for her husband"
"Very colorfully suggested" Did he enjoy the article? I dare not ask him. 
"What else?"
"I kind of yelled at her"
"Hmm.. Hmm"
"Why did you do that?"
"I felt that she insulted you, Swami"
"Excuse me?"
"She implied all men who needed their wives to be submissive were wimps, Swami, and since ..."
"Am I am wimp?" What! where did that come from?
"No Swami, far from it!!"
"Then?"
I am confused. Then? Then what?
"Then Swami?"
"If I am not a wimp, why did you feel she insulted me?"
"Because she seemed to paint you with a brush without knowing a thing about you"
"So?"
"So, that made me angry, extremely angry and frustrated Swami"
There is a pause. He lets what I have just said sink in. The silence is deafening. Suddenly I get it, we are in Step 2. He is educating me on my confusion between "actual reality" and "reality as I perceive it"
"Swami, are you there?"
"Yes"
"I'm sorry" Again he ignores my apology
"Do you get angry when somebody calls you names Daasi?"
"No, Swami, not at all. You have always coached me to be graceful even when others are not"
"Yet..you lit into Ms. Couric?"
"She did not insult me Swami, she insulted you!!"
"Hmm"
Another long silence.
"Daasi, Are you and I different from each other in your mind?"
Oh Lord one of those philosophy questions! We are one, yet we are not, he is my Swami for God's sake! I stay silent, not sure how to answer. He probes further. 
"Is there an exception in your behavior rules when I am the subject of a topic?" Uh Oh! the logic hammer falls on my head! I take in a deep breath. Of course not. I am to act gracefully and lady like, no matter what, no exceptions, even if I perceive somebody is insulting my Swami, because that is what my Swami expects of me. 
"No Swami"
"By the way, did she actually call me a wimp?"
"No Swami, it was just an implied smear on all dominant men. I don't know what happened. I just lost my temper"
"That was evident from the post, Daasi"
"I'm sorry Swami". Again he ignores me. This is the third time!
"So what do we do now?" Step 3. I know him so well by now!
"I can delete the post Swami?"
"What else?"
"I can apologize to my readers, for behaving in an undignified manner"
"Which do you think is a better option?"
I think about both options for a while. He waits patiently. 
"I should leave the post out there Swami. Words once said, cannot be walked back. It will be a lesson for me."
"I agree Daasi"
"I will write an apology in the blog"
"What will you say?"
"I will tell them that while I disagreed with Ms. Couric's view's my rant on her was uncalled for and I will apologize."
"That's a good plan, Daasi." Step 4. Agreement on what will be done to correct the situation!
"I'm sorry Swami."
"I know you are, Daasi. I love you. See you in the evening."
"Will I be punished Swami?" I am cautiously optimistic that he may say yes. A good spanking would be heavenly!!
"No. There is no need for that"
Click. The line goes dead. A small bead of sweat moves down my face. My palms are damp. My lips dry. He really owns my body, mind and soul!

My Apology

I said some things in my post about Ms. Couric that were not nice. I implied that she was a female dog and I mocked her and suggested she perform some sexual acts on her husband, that in all probability, Ms. Couric would find quite distasteful. I even got overtly familiar with her and addressed her by her first name, before ridiculing her and yelling at her. I am genuinely sorry for my crass behavior. 

One of my weakness is that when I perceive someone insulting Swami, I get a little bent out of shape. This is not the first time. I am working on this, hopefully I will learn from today's experience.
My behavior is a reflection of my Swami and I did not do him any favors today. For that I am truly sorry. I still don't agree with the way she conducted the interview or how she presented the viewpoints of her guest, but that did not give me the right to act the way I did!

Sorry for the rant viewers!! Sorry Ms. Couric!

Hugs
Swami's Daasi.