Constant Craving

On Most days, I am fine living my "secret slave" life with my Swami. Then there are days like today. I don't know what it is. Maybe it is the way he smells, maybe it is how he looks at me, maybe it is his touch. Is it that kiss he gave me? Oh those lips!!

Anyway, on such days, I want to run out and announce to every one that I am his slave. I want to put an advertisement in the newspaper, reveal myself to everyone in public, I want to attach myself to him and never let go. I fantasize about becoming his shoes or slippers. I go absolutely bonkers.

My Swami struggled with how to handle such days. He was concerned that I would do something crazy and regret it later, so he came up with a practical solution.

When my slave cravings become too strong and threaten my ability to think straight, my slave anklets come out. I wear them and something miraculous happens.

Every step I take reminds me that I am his. I fell the slight tug of the anklets on my feet and they make me extremely mindful. It is as if they are sending messages to my brain to take it easy.

I breathe easier and feel happy and owned. I wear it in public and when people comment on how beautiful they look, I smile and tell them they are a gift from my Swami. Then I whisper to myself "and he owns me, I am his Daasi". I imagine kneeling before him, naked, looking up at him adoringly. He places his hands on my head and reassures me

"Shh. Don't worry, you are mine. Only mine. I will be there to protect you. Don't panic. Breathe. Breathe"

I smile and say "Thank you Swami and kiss his hands"

Today I have my slave anklets on. Today I will walk in the house with them, go out to the grocery store with them on, we will be visiting friends and I will have them on. Nobody knows. Everybody will ask and every time they do, my Swami and I will share our special secret in public without anyone knowing about it.

Life is so wonderful!!