- Respect for my Swami.
- Obedience and Submission to his wishes
- Putting his needs before mine
- Loyalty. You have to be in his good books to be in my good books
My biggest challenges as his Daasi are when there is a conflict between Commandment 1 and Commandment 2.
Luckily for me most acts that I consider disrespectful to my Swami, are not things my Swami wishes me to do, so most of the time 1 and 2 are not in conflict. An example of this is would be "Yelling at my Swami or calling him names". I consider this a violation of Commandment 1 and as a Dominant he obviously does not wish me to yell at him or call him names, so we are fine here.
But there are a few acts that put Commandment 1 and Commandment 2 in conflict for me. I consider it extremely disrespectful to my Swami to sit in a position where the bottom of my feet are exposed to him. I also don't want the bottom of my feet to touch any part of his body. Sometimes, this happens by mistake, and I immediately apologize and ask for forgiveness. For me kicking my Swami is tantamount to kicking God. It is a big no-no
My Swami however, likes to play with my feet. He specially likes to take my feet in his hands and play with my toe rings. He says he loves my small feminine feet and loves to feel them with his hands. He does nothing beyond that and when he plays with my feet, it is so pleasurable. I love his tender touch, but for me it is like kicking his hands with my legs. I have begged him many times to stop it, but he just refuses to listen. He is my Swami so what can I do? He gets his way.
There is one other act that he insists on doing that really puts Commandment 1 and 2 in an even bigger conflict for me. We disagreed about it so much that he actually wrote it into the contract and told me for this one act, Commandment 2 would permanently take precedence of Commandment 1. Again like the "feet caressing" act I immensely enjoy this act, but I always beg forgiveness from GOD for breaking Commandment 1 by allowing him to do this.
What is this act?
Cunnilingus.
If you have been reading my blog you know by now that I just worship my Swami's cock. I love everything about it, I love sucking it. It satisfies some deep craving in me. I talk about how it makes me feel here
Pleasuring him orally is the best example of obeying Commandment 1, 2 and 3 in a single act for me. I get to serve and submit to him thus satisfying Commandment 2, I kneel before him during the act, showing him that I respect him thus satisfying Commandment 1. When he is aggressive in oral sex, and gags and chokes me, I feel happy because I feel that I am fulfilling Commandment 3. In other words, giving oral sex is something I crave.
The problem is My Swami likes to return the favor. He wants me to give the same pleasure he gets and he is pretty good at pleasuring me orally. Sexually it is extremely enjoyable and I have had some pretty intense orgasms from it. I am also deeply moved that he cares about my pleasure as much as he cherishes his. However in my mind, having my Swami put his mouth on my pussy, is even worse than me kicking him. I have however acquiesced to his will on this and it is in our contract under Article 5, under behavior 11 and there are stiff penalties for violating it. but I feel so guilty about it.
But when he goes down on me, my inner slave wags her finger at me. In my mind the act of giving oral pleasure is a my domain and my domain alone as a Slave. As a Daasi, I should suck his cock. I should kneel before him, he should stand over me and throat fuck and gag me. He should fuck my pussy and my ass and demand that I then suck his cock, he should come in my mouth and demand that I swallow. When I perform oral sex on my Swami, I feed my inner slave, I enjoy serving him and I get immense sexual pleasure from it.
I would be flummoxed if one fine day my Swami demanded that I spank him or use a clover clamp on his nipples since he likes it and demands that I do it because he commands me to do so. Those are things I want him to do to me to show me who is the boss, to reinforce his power and dominance over me. In other words, these activities are on a list of actions that a Master does to his Slave. A Slave never does these things to her Master right? For me spanking or using clover clamps on my Swami would violate Commandment 1
When my Swami performs oral sex on me, it does not satisfy my submissive urges at all, obviously I don't get the joy of servicing him and while I do get sexual pleasure from it, it fails on the other two fronts for me. Then there is the big issue of it violating Commandment 1 in my mind.
We have gone back and forth on this, so my Swami suggested I ask readers what they think. He is hoping that all of you will tell me to be a good Daasi and spread my legs so that my Swami can have his way with me and lick me to to glorious orgasms!! I am hoping you will validate me and I can convince him that pleasuring me orally is a violation of our Swami/Daasi relationship!!
So here is my question to you.
- When there is a conflict between Commandment 1 and Commandment 2, which should get precedence?
- Does Commandment 2 imply that my Swami has final say on what is disrespectful to him? Right now his views are more liberal than mine on these so called "disrespectful acts". He feels that playing with my feet and performing cunnilingus is his right and both are not violations of Commandment 1, specially because they give me sexual pleasure!!
- If you agree with him, any thoughts on how I can make the transition to not considering Cunnilingus as disrespectful? That would be so good!!
Please don't tell me my Commandments are arbitrary and I should just give them up. I can't do that. Obeying these Commandments are my life and define me as a person.
Thank you in advance for your advice. Now I wait with my fingers crossed :-)
Here are my thoughts as to answers to your 3 questions:
ReplyDelete1. If you are submissive to him, #2 must take precedence over #1 imo.
2. Yes.
3. If you really believe in following #2, the fact that you consider Cunnilingus disrespectful does not matter. What matters is what he thinks. I think obeying his wish in this respect is a very submissive act since it doesn't fit your "submissive urges". When your submissive urges do not overlap with what he wants you to do, his opinion must take priority if you are truly submissive to him and honor his wishes (i.e. obey #2 above all else). #3 plays here too: obviously he needs to please you orally. If he wishes it and needs it, you should submit to him and please him.
Thank you Spanky. That is what I do now. Just not thrilled with it. Btw just out of intellectual curiosity. What if the dominant uses commandment 2 to force a switch. I.e. demand to before submissive either temporarily or gosh permanently. Should the submissive comply?. I would make a terrible dominant. I don't have it in me. That is why I keep imploring to my swami that commandment 1 should never be violated. It is the foundation that seems to hold everything together for me. But having said that Nonetheless.. I obey and submit. He gets to have his way with me. I just pray and ask for forgiveness more :-)
DeleteI don't think a dominant should use their position to force a switch. There have to be limits that are agreed to by both. When there are differences of opinion as to what the limits are, like you apparently have in this case, it is complicated. I don't have a much experience in this area (i.e. being a submissive), so I'm sure someone will come along who can help you.
DeleteWhen you break one of the rules, do you have formal consequences? Maybe you can find a consequence to breaking this rule (at least in your mind) that is not onerous (and might be fun!)
I've learned after being married a LONG time that sometimes you can't both have a good time at the same time, unfortunately. Let him have this pleasure, and don't over think it.
Yes. If I violate the rules there are indeed consequences. I have not violated articke 5 clause 11 yet though :-) sometimes I am a little naughty and will try to close my legs to prevent him from licking me but he will just give me a hard stare and my legs will swing open again. I know who is boss and his wishes always take precedence
DeleteAs you know I am not in a M/s relationship so I will not pretend to understand how a slaves mind works. With all due respect, I am with your Swami on this one.
ReplyDelete1. #2 should take precedence because if you are obedient, you are showing respect.
2. Yes, he should be able to decide what is disrespectful to him.
3. Cunnilingus is a loving and pleasurable act. If it gives him pleasure, as his slave you should not deny him that. Lay back, enjoy and remember this is what he wants. You are submitting to him.
Good luck!
Thanks Bonnie for that perspective. Yes. that is what I do now. I submit to him and I have accepted his final say of precedence of Commandment 2 over Commandment 1. So practically we have resolved it..It is now also in our contract
DeleteIn my mind obedience shows respect, but they are not the same. I would find it very hard to obey his command to be disrespectful to him, like if he asked me to slap him or spit on him or some such thing. ( Luckily for me, he does not have those fetishes!!!)
Why is slapping and spitting considered disrespectful. Well it just is in my culture, and I am its product!! He can do it to me anytime, I am his Daasi, but I have a mental block of doing it to him!
So the question is Who decides what is disrespectful to my Swami. Thank you for your perspective on this too.
In almost all cases, my Swami has always decided. I only objected when my cultural upbringing clashed with his liberal views. Both Cunnilingus and foot play were two such items on a very very short list. Based on all the advice I am getting, I will let my Swami rule on this front too, as I have always done, but now I will do it cheerfully and I loved the way you put it.
I will remember that this is what he wants.
Thank you dear, for your advice. "Cheerfully" accepting foot play and cunnilingus will be a growth experience for me, but I am going to work on it.
Oh Desi Dassi, how silly and rigid you seem on these points! I see the views of both sides, and can understand to a point your hesitation in this matter. However, I will weigh in with my limited experience as you have asked.
ReplyDeleteIn this matter, I believe one and two to be entirely equal as He is your Swami and His pleasures are yours. It is not for you to deem an act disrespectful if he has already spoken, is it not? Di you willingly offer your body but hesitate in the mind for fear of your own pleasures?
I understand all too well the hesitation to find real pleasure from the gentle act of oral pleasure received (and I still must work hard to overcome this). But is it not our duty as humble servants of God to fully accept the gifts we are bestowed, however the wrappings? If I may be so bold as to ask how this is any different to your relationship to Swami, as He is your God?
Much Love and Hugs from the Pacific,
SubGirl
Hello dear. See this is why I have always maintained, I am luckier than my Swami. He has to put up with some of my bizarre views :-)
DeleteOn your thought of Commandment 1 being equal to Commandment 2, I respectfully disagree. In 99.99% of the cases they become the same, because there is no conflict, but see my reply to Bonnie for instances where they are not the same in my eyes.
I don't know why I object in my mind for receiving oral pleasure. I guess it is cultural. You know we bleed from there, it is messy and I mentally cringe when I see my Swami, My God, the person whom I worship, put his mouth there. My mind is screaming saying "No Swami, don't, your mouth does not belong there, come up here and kiss me"
I know. It sounds bizarre and so stupid even as I write it, but sadly it is the truth.
But I am going to try to take the advice from all of you. Real hard. I will "cheerfully" accept foot play and cunnilingus and remember that my Swami wants them.
You are a spiritual person, so the best way I can explain my mental block is for you to consider this. "If the biblical GOD appeared before you and for some inexplicable reason asked you to slap him with all your might or disown him or worship Satan" could you do it cheerfully as an act of obeying God? The important word here is "cheerfully".
I have always done what he wanted, but now I will accept those two acts cheerfully.
*sigh* The more I read and chat with you, the more I wish I was as lucky as Didi to know you and your Swami personally. Anyhoo, I understand what direction you were trying to lead my mind, but upon a short meditation of the question I have but this to answer:
DeleteI recognize fully that doing any of the tasks proposed "cheerfully" would have to be learned. However, should God appear and ask anything of me I would have faith that it is because God knows I have the strength to carry out any task put forth. To preface any answer I must admit that I do not believe there is a separation of God. There is no person, place, event, that is not without the Divine. On the point of physically lashing out at God, are we not offered opportunities to show our doubt at every turn, to either give into the fear or act against it? To show courage where you feel none and do what we know we must? I interpret that task as such.
On the disownment and asked to worship "Satan" again, I believe God is the Infinite, and should I be asked to turn my attention to another aspect of God -- to see the beauty in what most see as hate or revulsion. To worship Satan as the beautiful angel that gave the gift to see the world in duality, the opportunity to learn and grow as humans? I know I am in the minority when I say this, and I do not discount the feelings of hurt that tragic events of the world, but every single terrible event births a rippling of good. It brings compassion and love where most would seek to denounce it.
I know my viewpoint isn't common and trust me, the practical application in my own life is hard. But I think it's very cool that you and Swami have such a wonderful partnership, to even have this type of mental dilemma. :P
Wow!! Just Wow!! I would never have thought that in a blog discussing Sex, BDSM and cunnilingus, I would have the good fortune to get a spectacular lesson in philosophy!!
DeleteYou are indeed a very special person and I think you have schooled me in something I was completely oblivious to. I should have had on my list of Commandments as Commandment 0. "Faith in my Swami". Now that I think about it. It is faith that gives birth to Respect, which encourages Obedience and Submission which then inspire me to put his needs before mine. Faith also is absolutely necessary for Loyalty.
Once I put Faith above all as the First commandment, it is amazing how easily this question resolves itself!! When Commandment 1 and Commandment 2 are in conflict, refer to Commandment 0! Brilliant.
Thank you for opening my eyes Sweety!!
Lots of hugs and kisses
BTW, your concept of the divine is so, how do I put it... Eastern :-) I can completely relate to it!!
I'm just going to say what others have already said.
ReplyDelete1. Number 2 takes over.
2. Yes. Obey your Swami, that is all.
3. I don't know how to help you but I'll try. Think of how much pleasure it gives your Swami when he performs cunnilingus on you, think of how much more when your Swami sees how much his slave is enjoying it. Submit to him. I hoped I have helped
Thank you dear for your perspective. Looks like we have consensus here :-)
Delete1: What your Swami wants gets precedence. So, kinda like in theoretical physics, the Higgs Boson is the over riding particle, and commands all other particles.
ReplyDelete2: Your Swami is allowed to treat his desi well. Look at all the Greecian and Roman Mythos, and the amount of times a God has come to please their worshipers is huge, mainly Zeus was a big one for that. So yes if he wants to give you oral sex, then, well he is rewarding you for good worship and devotion.
3: Hmmm, I would say that you can say that if the clitoris wasn't wired the way it is to give enjoyment, then it wouldn't be there now would it. Easier would be: You are his property, if he wants to play with your clitoris, then not enjoying it breaks rules 1 and 2, heck and 3 even. If he feels the need to please you for good service to him, then it is only disrespectful that you aren't enjoying it...
Well Desi, I need to cool down after reading that. Best of luck in your conundrum.
Giggle :-) Religious Philosophy and Particle Physics all in one comment!! I think I could not have asked for better input. Thank you for that superb guidance.
DeleteBig Kiss
Mitra Dasi.. bahut sari tippaniya padhi,aapk reply b. Mujhe toh yahi kahna h ki jab aapne aap ko apne Swami ko samarpit hee kar diya h,apne vazood ko apni khudi ko unme samahit kar diya tab aap bachi hee kanha hai. Aapka our Swami ka bhed hee smapt ho gaya hai.. sampooran samarpan. Aise me aapk tan-man apne swami se itar ab rahe hee kanha..
ReplyDeleteYadi aapko unke kisi kam se hichkichahat hoti h iska matlab h ki aap unme aur apne me bhed kar rahi h aur apna 100% nahi de rahi hain.
Atah: meri opinion me apne sabhi commandmants ko ek taraf kar dijiye aur ek commandmant hee yaad rakhiye ki ve aapke swami h aur unki Ichha,unki khushi yaa aananad hee aapki bhee ichha aur khushi h.. unki ichha raja me hee aapki sada hami hai..aap aap nahi hain..bas swami ki chaya,shadow bhar hain..!
Thank you Ji. Well said. I am doing what you recommend :-)
DeleteYou have a lot of helpful opinions. As a slave, my answer is simple. His will prevails. Relish in knowing you're doing what he wants.
ReplyDelete