Indian Drama!

I was in my car driving to work, when my phone rang. I clicked on the Bluetooth phone icon on my steering wheel and heard Chutki's panicked voice on the other side.

"Didi, On thank goodness, you picked up. I needed to talk to somebody and Jeeju was not answering his cell"
"Calm down Sweety" I said "Is everything ok?"
 "Fuck no, Didi, nothing's ok, I spoke to India 15 mins ago and I think I am having a panic attack"
"What happened?"
"My parents and I have been having this back and forth about my getting married and today things boiled over"

Oh the Marriage conversation, I thought things had changed in India now, but I guess some things never quite change.

Chutki explained what had happened and her voice was shrill, excited and panic stricken. Her parents are pretty conservative and they felt that she should return to India once she graduated, find a nice boy and get married. They had shortlisted a bunch of boys of the same religious, social and economic background that they felt would be nice matches and had been haranguing Chutki to make a trip to India and meet with the prospects and see if something could be finalized. Now they had found  prospective matches and the boys are currently in the US and so things had come to a head.

I got married to my Swami this way and it has worked out very well for me, but I can see all the problems with these so called "arrangements". In fact my Swami and I are fairly certain we would not want our daughter to go thru that process, so I understand where Chutki is coming from, specially given her proclivities.

If you are a closet submissive and get married to the wrong man and your family expects you to honor that marriage till you die, you could be in big trouble if that person does not share the same wavelength as you or turns out to be an abusive control freak. For a submissive person like Chutki, this is just too big of a risk, but how could she make her parents understand this?

From what I hear, Chutki's Dad is a pretty strong man and his wealth and success have made him even more of an alpha-male. He seldom meets anyone who dares stand up to him and has usually run his family like a power patriarch. It is a miracle that he let Chutki come to the US to study, but that was only because Chutki used all her submissive charm on him to get him to agree to let her come here.

Now that she is close to graduating, he wants her back and wants to fulfill his "parental" obligation, throw a "over the top - talk of the town expensive wedding" and sit back and wait for his grand child. Chutki managed to avoid going to India this summer, but now her parents plan to make a trip here.
What really freaked her out was the fact that two of the boys that her parents have in mind for her are in the US right now and are completing their MBA here. Her dad wants to arrange a "meeting" in the US and get an informal engagement done here, if "things click", followed by a formal one in India, so that a wedding can take place next year. Chutki being who she is doesn't have the courage to confront her father and tell him to back off but she does not want to get married either.

"When are they planning to come?"
"Didi, they are in the process of applying for an American tourist visa. If that gets approved, then as soon as they get their tickets, they will be here!!"
"Maybe their visa will get rejected. You know that happens quite frequently to Indian passport holders" I suggested trying to be supportive.
"I wish that was the case, but my Dad has traveled extensively and his passport has visas from other countries which the US authorities view favorably and he has a flourishing business in India giving him motivation to return to India, another thing the consular officers like to see in applicants who apply for non-immigrant tourist visas. I doubt his visa will be rejected. Oh crap!! what do I do Didi?"

"Don't panic, Sweety, we will think of something"
"I can't get married now Didi, I just can't"

I felt bad for her. Indian parents take their "parental obligations" pretty seriously and "getting a daughter married off" at the right age is very high on that list. Besides Chutki was completely dependent on her parents for financing her stay here in the US and with her "student visa" getting a job here legally was going to be really tough. If her Dad decided to stop funding her US stay, her options were very limited. Even if the financing issue was solved, she needed to keep her stay in the US legal. Once she graduated, the grace period on her student visa would  run out quickly and she would have to leave the country or risk becoming an illegal here. Staying in the US without marrying and without the support of her parents is going to be really tough.

"Let me talk to your Jeeju. Maybe he has some ideas. Come over in the evening. We can talk some more" I said.

After I hung up with her, I called my Swami and told him what had happened.  He listened quietly.

"Hmm" is all he said as he heard me out. "Swami, what can she do.. poor girl..."
"I need some time to think.. Let's talk in the evening" he said.

As I have lunch and type out this blog, I am actually at peace. I have off loaded the problem on to my Swami's shoulder. As my Lord and Master his responsibilities include solving such knotty problems. Whoever said that being a Master is all about getting your way, don't know what they are talking about. As "Spiderman" said "With great power, comes great responsibility" and right now Chutki and I are counting on my Swami to figure something out here.