From Daughter to Daasi in less than a Decade

A fellow submissive Bonnie requested me to share how my marriage with Swami transformed from an ordinary plain vanilla marriage to a  Master/Slave relationship. I have touched on some portions of this in two posts namely The God reference and How did I get here but looking back at them, I noticed that they did not really address Bonnie's specific question about the journey. This post is my attempt to do so.

To be honest I think we kind of slid into it and when we realized it we just shrugged and formalized it, but there were certainly some markers along the way that were significant. I will try and talk about them here. I doubt my story will be very relevant to many of my readers, since my situation is kind of unique, but hopefully you will find it interesting :-)

Both my Swami and my background I think played an important part in our journey. He grew up in a home where his mother ran things. He always told me that she made it seem that his Dad could never measure up to her expectations. It did not start out that way in their marriage but slowly my father-in-law ceded more and more power to my mother-in-law just to keep the peace in the house and avoid a lot of drama, and before he knew it, he had relinquished even basic decisions to her. Sometimes she made terrible decisions that affected the whole family, but Swami tells me his Dad never stood up to her. So he came into the marriage with a very firm determination that his marriage would not be like his Dad.

My Mom  pours the holy water as my Dad (hand on top, black thread), gifts me (hand in the middle with bangles) away to my Swami (Hand below with yellow thread). I am now his taken in hand (literally) wife. He will now have a bigger say in my life than my parents.

It is done, My parents have stepped back and now he owns me. I am officially his wife, my name has been changed and I have entered his clan.

The joy and thrill of touching my Swami's feet for the first time after I have become his. I worship his feet.

I was raised in a family where my Dad ran the show. I had always seen him make decisions and even his two brothers, my uncles were like that. So I was used to seeing men as the head of the household. On top of that my Mom was very traditional. She was religious so I became religious and in Hindu religion the role of women is very traditional. So although I got a good education, because both my parents valued that, my mom instilled in me a love for cooking, sewing, serving and in general a love for traditional feminine activities. I saw her as my role model. She is patient, kind, self effacing and humble, so for me those qualities were what I strove to achieve.

Immediately after our marriage I came to the US. Ironically the US played an important part in my transformation too. My Swami was working here at the time of our marriage, but was still not a permanent resident here, so when I joined him, I joined him on a "non-immgirant spouse visa". This visa did not allow me to work here. When I arrived, I did not have a bank account, did not know driving, did not have any credit and barely knew anybody here. So started my transition in America. To get a good idea of what this is like watch the 2006 movie "The Namesake" starring Kal Penn.

I depended on my Swami for everything. He took me out for groceries, he enrolled me in driving school. I used his credit cards, he gave me money for daily expenses and added me to his bank account. We just had one car then, so when he used to go to work, I used to be alone in an apartment and waited anxiously for him to come home. On top of all that, I had brought with me all my traditions I had learnt from my mother. I cooked for him, I made sure the home was inviting and pleasant when he came home, like my mother I never addressed my husband by his name and since I had a lot of free time on my hands and we were newly married, I dressed to be sexually pleasing to him. I never thought anything of it. I was perfectly happy, but now when I look back at it, I think that first year in the US pretty much laid the foundations for me to become "submissive".

My Swami discovered that I was nothing like his mom! and he loved it. So I got a lot of positive feedback for the way I behaved and it just became natural for me. I used to ask his views and permission for everything. He replaced my Dad in terms of authority for me. I don't think I spent even $10 without him knowing about it. He never asked me to behave this way, I just fell into it. In fact he soon tired of all the small details I used to run by him, and tried to get me to be more independent. He forced me to learn driving, pushed me to enroll in graduate school and tried to have me take over paying our bills so that I would understand where our money was going( this one thing never happened).

While all this was going on, my role in the bedroom was also traditional. I took my mother's only sex advice to heart,  namely "Give it to him, whenever he asks for it, do whatever he tells you to do and just let him take the lead". Yeah, I know!!! My Swami still thanks my mom for that gift :-)

Since I was a virgin when I got married, I was a complete newbie when it came to sex and following my Mom's advice made it really simple for me in bed. It also meant that I learned what was acceptable and what was not from my Swami. He had very few taboos in bed, so I have very few now. For me everything we did in the bedroom was "normal" and the way it was supposed to be!!. I mean we did not do anything "kinky" like bondage, spanking, etc, but things that I later learned most of my lady friends absolutely refused to do, I did for my Swami regularly.

So when I look at it now, I think I was in what  is called  a "Taken in Hand (TIH)" relationship as discussed Here but knew nothing about it. For me this was how marriages were supposed to be.

The slide from TIH to a 24x7 Total Power exchange relationship was set in motion with the birth of our daughter. Once we had our daughter, the daily grind of raising a child took a toll on our intimacy and sex life. We were still deeply committed to each other, but I think sexually things kind of ground to a sudden halt. Even after I got back in shape after the pregnancy, my Swami who used to always initiate sex in our bedroom was not as wild about sex with me as he once was, but he had been such a good teacher!! I just loved sex.  I wanted it more than ever and was terrified when I could not attract him like I once did. I have never pleasured myself in my life, so he was absolutely essential for my sexual satisfaction, no toy or masturbation could replace him!

I was desperate for a way to rekindle the fire in our marriage when one night during what was now a fairly infrequent occurrence, we had sex and it turned into an extraordinary experience. My Swami was a little drunk and as we played around, I decided to try some advice I had heard on some TV show that playing out fantasies in bed might be helpful. So I requested Swami to let us play out one of his. It started out fairly tame, but as we progressed he just got totally transformed. His sex got really rough and he started calling me names like slut, slave and fuck toy that he had never used before. At first I was a little taken aback, but when I saw how much he was into the fantasy and how excited it made him, I got into it too.
I never knew what BDSM meant, what a submissive was, what a Dominant was, knew nothing about "Kinky Sex" but looking back at it this was my first experience of it. After that he was always ready to have this kind of sex so our marriage became TIH with kinky sex thrown into it. As we explored the "Kink Zone" we ran into all kinds of terms and names but one stuck in both my mind and my Swami's. It was this concept of Total Power Exchange where the submissive gave all her body, soul and will to the dominant permanently. We were married, I deferred to him in our daily lives when it came to almost all decisions and now he dominated me in bed with kinky sex.  The more dominant and kinky he became in bed, the more submissive and willing I became and was surprised at how quickly our sex life first returned to our pre-parenting days but quickly surpassed even that. As we were both transformed, my Swami really started enjoying this aspect of our relationship and fantasized about completely dominating me, even outside our bedroom. For me, it was a natural progression. I was already a Taken in Hand wife. Submitting to him completely was a small step for me but I could see the huge benefit for our married life.

So our dynamic spilled over from our bedroom into our "normal life".He was a natural master and really good at being a responsible dominant and submitting to him completely, made me feel more secure, care free, more sexy and more feminine. Before we knew it we were living a Master Slave dynamic quietly in private. He became my Lord and Master and I enjoyed being submissive and subservient to him, so much so that I started fantasizing about being a better slave to him in words, actions and thought.

By the time we talked about formalizing it seriously, we were already living it in our lives. The contract just helped us embrace it completely. Now my Swami and I are so into the lifestyle that I often wonder, how come we did not do this earlier?

Oh Lord. Just talking about this is making me so wet!!